Someday, there will be a bigger, more detailed story to tell about how we met. Many people have encouraged us to write a book, and we agree — once things slow down. God did something so significant and special that it needs to be shared.
However, I wanted to post a summary for this page to answer a few questions that may pop up. This is the story that we’ve grown accustomed to telling in Walmart as we traverse the aisles with 11 boys in tow but with more details and from my perspective. I’ll yield to Tamara Wheat to tell her side of the story; it’s quite hilarious and you won’t want to miss her perspective.
We’re a blended family. Both Tamara and I lost our spouses to cancer in 2022, within a month of each other, though we didn’t know each other at the time. Tamara had four boys. I had seven. Yes, we have 11 boys together!
Neither of us were seeking the other out, but we were open to the idea. We didn’t use dating apps or anything of the sort.
We met at Silver Dollar City on August 20, 2023. My story begins at noon that day after attending church. I almost called an audible and told the boys that the theme park plan for the afternoon could wait for another weekend as I was exhausted from the previous day’s move and the morning’s flurry of activities — ranging from preparing the boys for church, brushing teeth, picking out clothes, and the constant buckling and unbuckling of the younger ones in their car seats. Plus, lunch wasn’t going to make itself. I nearly cancelled our plans to go. But, it was either the nudge of the Spirit or my love for BBQ at the City that triumphed that day. Actually, it was two close friends who said they would assist with watching the younger kids at SDC while I took the older boys on rides that sealed the deal. So, off we went.
Not long after arriving, the older five boys and I got in line for a water gun boat ride while my friends Denis and Kay looked after the stroller and the younger two nearby. Little did the boys and I know that our lives were on the brink of a significant change. It was a pivotal moment, where God was about to reveal His plan for our lives. I’ve recounted this story numerous times, and I always emphasize that besides my own salvation, I have never witnessed the hand of God so clearly in my life.
“Alright boys, hit ‘em with all that you have got in their EYES! AIM for their EYES!” I screamed from our watercraft as we were floating along in a guided ship shooting the land dwellers who crouched on the shore pelting us pirates with their water cannons mounted in strategic spots sure to soak us. Soak us — they did! I didn’t know it at the time, but the boys behind those water cannons, would become very special to me and part of our family in a mere five weeks. Yes, five weeks. Now back to the water fight. It is safe to say we lost that H20 battle.
After dismounting the water craft and assessing the water damage to my crew, we joyously laughed, squeezed out our shirts, and walked back to the stroller as our shoes squeaked and left a trail of wet footprints on the summer asphalt behind. I remember these moments vividly.
“Caleb!” yelled Denis. “Come meet my new friend Tamara!”
“Oh boy, Denis is playing matchmaker again.” I thought.
“Who will it be this time?”
As I arrived back to the stroller and to Denis and Kay, I was assessing the area making sure all of my younger boys were there yet trying to read the scene and understand who was who as Denis began introducing Tamara and her friends to me.
Then I saw her.
Apparently, at this point, Tamara knew more about me and my story as she had 10-15 minute head start from Denis. I was in the dark figuratively, soaking wet physically, and getting brought up to speed quickly.
He was going on about how we should get married and such and my poor brain was trying its best to process all that was happening.
I think Tamara saw the confusion on my face as to why Denis was trying to get us married so she mentioned, “I lost my husband to cancer last year.”
“Oh. I’m so sorry.”
It was at this moment, that the lights came on. Denis found a widow and was introducing us for marriage. I’ve known Denis and Kay for over 15 years and he was trying to help.
He had tried to get me to meet one or two others in the recent past, but I wasn’t willing.
However, something was different this time.
Her beauty blew me away. Seriously. The way she smiled. Her voice. Her posture.
I immediately thought about how dumb I must have looked standing there before her drenched from the water ride, yet she looked wet too for some reason (It was a very hot August day. See Tamara’s story).
Despite the immediate physical attraction, I’ve walked enough life and trust Proverbs when it says,
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” 31:30
I was definitely interested in her, but I wasn’t trying to get my hopes up too soon.
However, as the conversation progressed, it was apparent, that God was in this day. Let me repeat, GOD WAS IN THIS DAY. We talked about cancer journeys, losing spouses, raising boys, adventures, our Christian faith, and so much more.
It was a great conversation had by all involved, but there was a moment. A moment that stopped me in my tracks. A snippet of time that we have talked about for our entire relationship. With each topic discussed, our minds were consistently being blown away by how aligned we were in our beliefs, values, and even dreams.
This moment happened while Denis was talking. Our eyes locked. No, wait, not Denis and mine. Tamara looked my way and our eyes locked.
It was at this pivotal moment that we both knew God was up to something. It probably lasted 10 seconds, but in that one eye stare, we must have had a four hour conversation without using words.
As I looked deep into the sheer beauty of her brown eyes, I smiled the biggest grin of my life. I knew I was supposed to be standing there. I knew I was supposed to be chatting with her. I knew God was there. I almost saw into the future in that one glance.
We often joke now during the snapshot moments of life about how cool it would have been to have been able to see into the future from that one glance. Could we see dinnertime, as all 13 of us are wrapped around the farm table? Did we see the long walks on nature trails? Did we see us all wading in the Guadalupe river in Texas on one of our adventures? Did we see our daughter? Maybe it was good that we didn’t because we may have also seen what it’s like for all 13 of us to be sick at the same time with a stomach bug earlier this year.
I’ve recounted this story many of times to others and have said that when God is in something, the details FALL INTO PLACE.
Tam and I have often labeled this as the checklist that we never wrote. In those precious few hours of visiting and in the 2am phone conversations the following weeks, we discussed Jesus, homeschooling, finances, dreams, houses, roles of the family, and so much more. We got straight to the important stuff quickly.
That evening as I exited the tram that delivered us to our vehicle, I paused and sent a quick note to Tam. We’ve never stopped talking since.
Five weeks later, we married.
Fast forward to today. We are both so incredibly humbled at what God has done. God has blessed our marriage. Our boys. Our home. We are so happy.